thats it for now, I am going to e-mail you when
I have something good here.
And some good mails here.
Seeya
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There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, whoever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Indian said, "Keep the damn egg!"
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Empathy, a vanishing trait
A FEW days ago, a street dog with the tail tucked in was attempting to cross a busy road in Chennai. Though the dog glanced to its left and right more carefully than its caretaker species - human beings, who inevitably look the wrong way and throw tantrums after they step to safety - it was hit by a car whose driver never bothered to slow down. The unfortunate dog whimpered, whined and managed to shoot across. It rolled on the pavement, ran round in circles for a while before settling down to nurse its wound with its paw. As the traffic signal was close by, the criminal behind the wheels was not hard to trace. There he sat tapping the steering wheel,laughing and chatting as if nothing had happened. The response of other road users was no different. Some drivers stopped to laugh at the animal while those on the pavement were caught between two opposing, strong tugs - the desire to relish the pain and the instinct to run for cover from a berserk dog. The sadism is not for animals alone. It is worse when human beings are concerned. How else can you explain the pleasure people get when they see an old woman slipping on a banana peel that had been tossed carelessly (or is it deliberately?) on the pavement? When a passenger slips and falls off a bus, other passengers are tickled to smile; when the bus conductor passes a nasty remark to insult someone, others laugh aloud. When a car driver races across a dirty puddle to bathe the pedestrians after a spell of rain, smile splits the lips apart of most of those unhurt. When a man heaves his car along, others smile at his misfortune. When a man arrested in connection with a crime (he is not a criminal till proved so in a court of law) is beaten to death in the police lock-up, who kills? Policemen, who are also human beings. So it would seem that they enjoy beating to death someone who cannot defend himself. This is no different from strangling a puppy and watching it die slowly. The lower animals are much better as living beings because they kill only when they need to. We alone seem to enjoy the pain we inflict on others. When a woman with a baby approaches you at a traffic signal for alms, you roll up your car window to block out her pleas. A rupee would matter little to you but a lot to the poor woman. But you have decided not to encourage begging. "Why can't they go and work?" you think or say. But will you or your parents give her a job? "Certainly not!" your parents will scream. "We don't even know who she is and where she comes from," your parents may say. They may draw other unpleasant conclusions about her background based on their first impression of her. But your parents will not hesitate to tip a fancy-accented waiter at a five-star hotel with a hundred rupee note to seal the sneer which may otherwise creep in on his ever-obliging, smiling face. You may not hesitate to drain hundreds of rupees from your parental kitty on an outing for high-cholesterol pizzas, or on useless, alien toys, but helping the poor? Never. They don't deserve it, you insist. When a poor student comes to you for help, you wonder if he is pretending to be poor and intends to run to a movie with his friends the moment you give him some money. So you shut the door on his face. You may ask "Why should I help when there are institutions to do so?" But institutions tend to spend more money on their own existence than they spare for those whom they intend to help. And not every needy child knows whom to approach for help. As schools often have a fund for the poor students, it may be worthwhile finding out whom they help. Is the fund open to all or is it based on religion, caste and creed? If it is, you could stay away from it if possible and help directly in your own small way. It is not difficult to see for yourself how easy it is to laugh at others' misery. But each one of us is born with a tenderness that we succeed in hiding under the rubble of bitter experiences. You just need to place your tenderness on a pedestal and let the rubble lie below. It is not easy, but not impossible either. You will then be able to empathise with the suffering of others and extend your hand when they need it most.
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Making the Choice for Outrageous Success!
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Human beings have never had more options and opportunities available to us. We can travel the world, change careers, change spouses, change cities, change our appearance. Education is virtually free. We can call or write or visit almost anyone on earth. We can have or do or become anything we wish -- so why don't we? For years, first as a minister, then as a Psychologist, and now as a coach, I've wondered why so many people, with so much talent and so many opportunities, choose to stay put, live quietly, and remain frustrated. Why do we do that? This week I found a quote from "Auntie Mame" that gives at least part of the answer: "Life is a smorgasbord, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" In one of those embarrassing insights that make us go, "Duh!", I thought about how few of us ever actually DECIDE what we want in life. We fail to choose, and so we choose to stay put. My grandfather didn't have many choices. He lost his farm during the depression, and spend the rest of his life working in a lumberyard to feed his family. He worked hard. He rarely complained, and didn't expect life to be easy. But he survived, he sent his kids to school, and I count him a great success! But today, we measure success differently. Today we watch people like Bill Gates make billions of dollars, and more importantly, in a few years he has changed the language, the culture, and our vision of the future. He may not be your hero, and his vision of success may not be yours, but he has had an impact! A young man growing up in Hope, Arkansas, with problems of alcohol, divorce and poverty in his family becomes a Rhodes Scholar, a lawyer, and eventually President of the United States. Mr Clinton may not be your definition of success, but he has done something with his life! Or, consider Mary Kay Ashe, who decided to sell make-up, and help women change their lives. She did OK for herself. Or, what about a Joyce Oates, an Annie Dillard, a Barbra Streisand, a Mary Tyler Moore, Lucille Ball, or Martha Graham? Michael Jordon failed to make the team in high school - the coach sent him home! But, he came back, he was at the gym at 6:00 A.M., every morning before school, and he eventually achieved a certain level of success. These people made choices! Michael Jordon probably could have made other choices. I suppose there were other role models in his high school - people dropping out, doing drugs, or just drifting through. He probably could have gotten a job in a local factory, or started a small business. But he DECIDED to play basketball, and to be good at it. That decision made a difference. The key to any level of success is to make a CHOICE, and be COMMITTED! Over and over, I see folks buy books, listen to tapes, and dream about success, or happiness, or "peace of mind", but never DECIDE exactly what their particular success will look like. Success in sales requires different skills than success as a parent or as an artist. Success in music means hours of practice, while success in business may require another kind of commitment. Decide what you want! Decide what is important to you, and go for it. Commit to it! Here are 3 suggestions: 1. Make a clear, specific decision about something you want. It may be as big as choosing a career or it may be small. But decide what you want! Make your choice and write it down, say it out loud. Get clear about what you want. 2. Set a deadline for having it and tell at least 3 people who will support and encourage you. Commit to it! Decide you will make it happen and ask your friends to hold you accountable. You are done with wishing and hoping - you have decided you are going to succeed, and failure is not an option! 3. Find someone who has done the thing you have chosen, and copy them. This is not difficult! There is no mystery to success! If they lost weight, do what they did. If they wrote a novel, made a fortune or raised great kids, do what they did, and you will achieve similar results. What is the greatest cause of failure today? The commitment to mediocre success. We do "OK" in earning a living. We have "nice" houses, and reliable cars. Our weight is too high, but "not that bad". Our families and relationships are "fine". We are moderately successful in many areas, and frustrated in life. Why? Largely because we fail to choose. In a world of TV, games, leisure and options, we fail to decide what we really want to do with our lives. And so we drift, we feel restless, and unfulfilled. Change this! Make clear choices. Go after the things you want, and eliminate the tolerations and frustrations that distract you. When you say "Yes!", put an exclamation point on it and mean it! This is your life, live it by choice - your choice!
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From Shyam Bhatia
DH News Service
WASHINGTON, Nov 1
Ask Gururaj 'Desh` Deshpande how it feels to be the richest Indian in the world and there is a long pause before he answers. ''It doesn`t make that much difference. In fact, I really don`t like being associated with that part of it, I would rather be described as a humble guy, unassuming, someone who likes building companies and coming up with strategies, putting teams together. It`s a lot of fun doing these things.`` At the comparatively young age of 48, the Hubli-born Mr Deshpande is the envy of his peers in the computer software industry and the toast of the Indian community, not just where he lives in Boston, but throughout the United States. He is also extremely modest. Getting him to talk about himself is like drawing teeth. He is much better at talking about his source of inspiration, his brother-in-law and Bangalore-based fellow billionaire Narayana Murthy of Infosys. ''My wife and Narayana Murthy`s wife are sisters,`` he explains. ''He`s a very good guy,.I have a lot of admiration for him. INSPIRATION: ''He`s not just a successful business person, he`s also just a good human being, which is a tough thing to be. In high tech, I have too many colleagues and too many friends who have been very successful, but in the end unhappy people. I`ve known him for a good 20 years. I`ve seen him build the whole thing, he`s been quite an inspiration for me. ''We talk pretty much every couple of days, we keep in close touch. There`s a lot of things he does and l do that leverage off each other. He`s quite an inspiration for me.`` In the US, Mr Deshpande is just as much of an icon. When stock brokers shut up shop this week end, his jointly founded company, Sycamore, was valued at more than US dollar 14 billion and his personal wealth was estimated at more than US dollar 3 billion (Rs.14,000 crores). Computers and the dreams of cyber technology did not enter Mr Deshpande`s lexicon either at school in Hubli or Sankeshwar, not even in Bangalore where he graduated from the National College. LUCKY TURNS: By his own account, his success is based on a series of fortunate accidents after he left for Canada in 1973, where he gained his Masters and Ph.d and started working for a small subsidiary of Motorola. ''We went from 20 to 400 people in four years,`` he told Deccan Herald. ''That was my first taste of a start up. After that I said I want to do this for myself. You can`t do this in Canada because there is no venture capital there. So that`s when I moved to Boston, got my green card and got to know the community, including financiers and bankers. ''I left in `87. My first company was called Coral Networks, which wasn`t successful. Then l did another company called Cascade Communications, which was very successful, I left and then Sycamore started.`` Some of his earlier shyness evaporates when he talks lovingly of Sycamore, just as a parent might speak of a favourite child. He is in fact the father of two teenage boys, Pavan and Ashwin, who share their father`s enthusiasm for the new information technology. Sycamore, Mr Deshpande explains, uses fibre optics in communications so that data is transmitted using pulses of light rather than electricity. In layman`s terms this means better, stronger and much more widespread global communications. REVOLUTION: He is not surprised, he claims, at the stock market`s favourable reaction to his company. Sycamore, he insists, is spearheading a worldwide transition that is in every way as profound as the change from agriculture to the industrial revolution. ''The way you went from the agriculture to the industrial revolution that took a long time,`` Mr Deshpande adds. ''Now because communications are so strong when people see it and if they think it`s a revolution that`s going to happen, they`re willing to bet on the right company. ''It`s almost that people cheer you and they want you to get there and that`s nice. Once upon a time to be a player in the market you needed a lot of wealth and backing. All those barriers are really broken down now. ''Can you be innovative, can you stick your neck out, can you be entrepreneurial? I think that`s important and that`s the part I hope you will write about.``
Thats it!!!!!!!.
Have fun,